…put your shoes where they belong!

As I was cleaning house today I noticed the pile of shoes next to my and my husband’s door.  Then I remember the argument that my daughter and I had this morning when trying to locate her shoes for school.  We searched and searched for her shoes and could not find them.  I lectured (which I know she didn’t hear) about why I bought a cubby for her closet specifically for shoes, and how when she takes them off they should go straight to the closet, into the cubbies, not just thrown onto the floor.  Typically she leaves them where she takes them off.  I have her clean up her play area and her room every day and I always remind (or nag) “put your shoes where they belong!”.  So, back to the search; we look and look, I assume she has already looked in her closet when lo and behold I go and there they are….in the cubby where they belong.  She is so not in the habit of having put them away that when time comes to locate them she doesn’t even look in the closet.  Neither did I for that matter.  The day before I had her clean her room and I guess she had put them away.

Now, to the pile in my bedroom and point of this.  I realized something when seeing that pile of shoes that belong to me and my husband: How am I supposed to expect something of her, a seven year old, when we as adults cannot even do it.  I always advise that we lead by example, our kids see us more then they hear us (hence not hearing my lecture).  So why is it ok for us to leave our shoes everywhere and not her?  It’s not.  If I want her to learn to put her shoes away properly then we need to step up as parents and do the same thing.  This goes for so many more aspects of life besides household responsibilities. Respect for others, being courteous, having integrity; all of these things are learned not solely by lecture and punisputyourshoeswheretheybelonghment for failure, but by example.  How do we learn to read or write or even speak?  By example.  With all of this being said, I am making a pact with myself to strive to be a better example for my daughter!!  What do you expect but not follow through on yourself?

What to wear to church……

Growing up I was raised Southern Baptist, in the heart of the Bible Belt.  And as such when little girls went to church they wore pretty dresses with shiny flats and combed hair with pretty bows or headbands.  But as society is changing and becoming more and more relaxed this trend seems to be changing.  I still see the little girls in the dresses with the bows and shiny shoes, but less and less.  Instead I see jeans and t-shirts and sneakers.  I once visited a church and a tween was wearing an “I love vampires” t-shirt.  Really?

As I am noticing all of this I am raising a little girl, who now is 7 and is much more independent and wants to dress her self more.  She has comfort levels now and knows pretty much what she likes.  And what she likes is NOT dresses!!!!!  So this past weekend we planned to visit a new church as we have recently moved and are looking for a new Home.  It is time to prepare clothes for the day and she has no dresses for church.  So I plan for us to go shopping for a dress.  She DOES NOT WANT A DRESS!!!!  So I agree to compromise and allow for a nice shirt/leggings combo (going against every thing Southern Baptist in me). We get to the store and she finds a shirt and little sweater/shawl combo and wants to wear jeans.  I am outraged!!!!!  How could you want to wear jeans to church?  It is blasphemy!!!!  There is no way you are wearing jeans to church!!!!!  But in the end, I didn’t want to argue with a 7 year old, or waste money on something that she would cry about wearing (which would give us bad attitudes before getting to church) and never wear again so I let her get the shirt combo and agreed to the jeans.

Sunday morning comes and I am not happy about the jeans, but I pray to the Lord to help me , to soften my heart, and let me understand my daughter.  Then I feel the Lord tell me, “Put on jeans, accept your daughter and go with her to worship me”.  So, hesitantly after already being dressed in my skirt, I change into jeans, a nice shirt and heels.  I feel so awkward, but I felt what the Lord was saying so I followed his direction.  We got to church and she was so excited to be there and so ready to learn the bible and about the Lord.  My husband and I got to the service and I sang my heart out and worshiped like a Southern Baptist….IN MY JEANS!!!!  Forgot all about them.

As we were praying at the end of the service, I was reminded of something someone once told me a long time ago, “It doesn’t matter what you wear to church, God doesn’t care, as long as you are there”.  This is so true.  As I am thinking back to my motivations, and reasons for wanting us to dress “to the T” is not only because that is how I was raised but because I wonder “what will people think if I show up in jeans?”  There it is…its not about the ability to worship in a dress versus jeans, it’s what will people think?  And the only opinion we should worry about is the Lord’s.  In my jeans I felt the Lord just as strongly as I did in my dresses.

That afternoon as my daughter and I were working in the yard I apologized to her for getting upset about what she wanted to wear and told her the saying I was told when I was her age, “It doesn’t matter what you wear to church, God doesn’t care as long as you are there”.  And my sweet little girl apologized for not wanting to wear a dress, “but it is just not comfortable to me mom”.

Lets not forget as parents that while yes our kids need our direction they also need a little freedom to become who they are and who the Lord wants them to be.  And we need to accept who that person is!!!

In the endImage it doesn’t matter what you wear to church, God doesn’t care as long as you are there!!!

Today; Never Forget!!

So as I am scrolling through my Facebook I see the question: Where were you?  Do you remember that day? I was sitting in my Western Civilization college course, in my senior year.I remember that my homeroom teacher came running into the classroom in a panic because she had family in NYC and was frantic about trying to contact them.  Those are the only memories I have.  I don’t remember saying anything, I don’t even remember feeling anything.  I think a big reason I had no emotion, or don’t remember having any is because I didn’t know what was going on.  I was clueless about what was happening; I didn’t know anything about terrorists, I never watched the news, or read the paper.  And even after this event I didn’t pay attention like I should have.  I remember the day we went to war; I was sitting in the emergency room with my boyfriends mom, and we watch the first attacks on the news in the middle of the night.  I remember feeling scared, but it was surreal, it didn’t seem to be frightening like it should have.  I think this is because again, I had no real idea about what was going on.  I didn’t know the real meaning of war, the real loss that was to come or the true suffering that was going to happen.  I wish that I had known so that then I could have had a greater appreciation for what was happening right then.

I guess I am writing to say that not only will I never forget 9/11 because of the loss and tragedy of that day, but because through it, the horribleness that it is, I was able to gain wisdom and grow and mature.  It didn’t happen that day, or even in the next year or 3 years, but I am able now to see what I was lacking as a youth in my knowledge of the world and it gives me the insight to know that I need to show my daughter the suffering and loss that has gone on in order for to enjoy the freedom she has.  I don’t want her to be inadvertently ungrateful as I had been.  I didn’t mean to be, ignorance made me that way.  I want my daughter to watch the news and read the paper; I want her to know what is going on in the world and to know that this freedom that we know and enjoy is not everywhere, and that to take it for granted is a foolish thing.  Having this knowledge will hopefully help to be a more giving and loving person; someone who will help a fallen person, or donate her time, give her money; I want her to be charitable as our Savior has taught us to be and to know that while she may only help one person, it is a difference being made, and having the freedom to do that is not free and that we should do all we can to say thank you for this freedom!!!!

Never Forget!!

What is this? Who am I?

This blog is a place for me to share my experiences as a mom, wife and CEO of the home. I enjoy cooking, crafting, fashion, health and fitness and exploring the world of Psychology.  I plan to share with you the ins and outs of my life; the experiences, no matter how imperfect they are.  I want to show that imperfection is life and that with each little hiccup comes learning and growth.  I hope that my little nuggets of info can enrich your lives!!!